appleofhiseyes

2009-11-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

I could not have spent 2009 with people any better then them.

They made me feel right at home when I first stepped in.

They reminded me of my self introduction on the first day I met them.

"Hi! I'm Jerlynn and I'm from PJC."

They laugh at my stupid jokes (which I admit isn't always quite that funny.)

Although I think most of the times they laughing at me, rather then with me, but what the heck.

Oh not forgetting thos paper aeroplanes and the plot to make me watch a horror flick.

I'm going to miss them so much. I wish we could have taken A's together, but I know you will all do very well in your own time. (just like meeee)

Like I said, I couldn't have asked for better classmates for my second J1 year.

09S04, Abba's answered prayer to me. Thank you.

My Jesus. My Abba. My Bread.

2009-09-02T07:13:00.001-07:00

SCHOOL tomorrow. Not something I'm looking forward to after an approximate four school-less days. Can't say I did much studying, it's tough to go out and study alone okay. Hello! I wish I was j2, then...... my 'break' will extend till tomorrow, but that'll mean prelims will start on friday. On second thought maybe not J2 afterall.

I'm sure if God remembered my sins, I'd be sentenced to hell for eternity. Thank God He doesn't. I remember someone told me that it's not about my faith in God, but His faith in me. And so "coincidentally" bryan sent us beemail and this was what was in it.

Heb 13:5 [AMP]

...and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] ‡2 Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor ‡3 give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, ‡4 [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor ‡5 let [you] down ( ‡6 relax My hold on you)! [ ‡7 Assuredly not!]

SEEEEEEE!!! God's alive, God's word is TRUELY TRUELY the LIVING word of God. Abba repeats 3 times that He'll not He'll not He'll not leave me nor forsake me nor let me down. Always held in His arms close to His heart, that's where I am and will always be. Regardless of how stupid/ loser-ish/ inferior/ naughty and everything that I really am. Not me, but Jesus in me.

My Jesus.

My Abba.

My Bread.

My best friend.

2009-07-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

I am tired today, tired in a good way. As in tired because I had a good days' work. Managed to cover much while studying with le! Once again I had one of those moments again! I alighted at commonwealth instead of queenstown. Any idea how silly I felt? hehe!

(: I'm hoping to go for sunday service even though there's Arrow tomorrow.

2009-07-16T05:49:00.000-07:00

I'm suppose to be studying, but I really need a break.

What am I doing in a junior college? Why am I taking on the A levels? Why did I not go over to the polytechnic?

Sometimes reality slaps me so hard in the face, it's really very hard to ignore. I asked Abba today, where's my 30fold?

I found out today that I have de-proved. I found out, yet again, what it's like to feel extremely disappointed. I found out today, that I've grown so used to failure. I found out today what it feels like to feel blessed for a friend, but yet envious of that friend. Today, I felt stupid and small. Most importantly, today I know how much my Abba loves me. Today I found out in the smallest ways how magnificent my God is. Today, I finally realise that I'm none of the above. Today, I've began to see, what it means to cast my eyes on Jesus and disregard my circumstances.

Life has been pretty harsh on me, but my Jesus has always been and will always be here for me.

There is no testimony without testings. No room for improvement without mistakes. Correction hurts, but is vital.

It's a heartfelt knowing that it's correction out of love, and I can run into His embrace when I cry.

You know what, I'm imperfect.

It does not matter.

A God who loves me just as I am, but too much to allow me to remain as I am. I finally understand what it means.

2009-07-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

I'm ultimately bored to the bone.

LOA's the lastest buzz on what's happening in my life. It's official, I'm under "quarantine". Get this, I'm not allowed to go back to school till 8th of july. Usually I'd be over the moon thanking God for answered prayers, but this time I really wanted to take my exams IN THE EXAM VENUE. I guess all things work out for my good? I'm sure it will. I can't wait to hear about how the school's going to assess my promotional status. pfffffft. I think it'll be "great".

PFFFFT. PFFFFT. OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Something nice should be said right(: I LOVE MY CG LIKE MANY MANY MANY!!!!! They got my muffins and a card an a bottle/cup/mug/cup from starbucks. My love to Candice, Ahfa, Viv, Cass, Trix, Mr Hi!, YL, Max, Josh, Caleb, Sam, Bryan, BOBBIEEEEEE, chuting, KG, Grace, abi. THANK YOU JESUS FOR MY CG. (meet candice an hour ago to get my present).

Who will be the vessel of God's love for me without them.

Tonnes to do. Spirit is willing, oh, but the flesh is just too weak.

Change the sheets, study for my math exam which will most probably not count towards my promotional status, gg. Check out the price of Wii, change the sheets. Study do some more math.

DENISE HAS FINISHED HER EXAMS. I would say I've more or less finished mine. We're going out tomorrow, hoping B's coming along too.

2009-06-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

CAMP IS LESS THEN 60 HOURS AWAY!!!! Excited am I. HELL YEAH!!!!! It's awesome.

Dan friend, I think you're the only one reading my blog!! You're awesomeeeeee!

Life has pretty much been quite uneventful, except for Wednesday. I MET UP with 4E6(: I had so much fun. Gerri, Nathan, Subodh, Ngai, Ben, Yun, Lam, Dan, Ken, Lim Ther and carina. To all those who didn't come/ couldn't make it, come next time yeah! We went to The Mindcafe. Heh made a heaven load of noise...... HAHA and now forgetting the drinking "punishment". Aw I really miss my secondary4 days. They are just awesome.

Going off to pack my books and all (woke up bright and early to study). Meeting my CG later to shoooop(:

2009-06-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

ITS LIKE 8 MORE DAYS TO CAMP(: I'M EXTREMELY EXCITED((((((:

This camp is going to be very different from others that i've been to. I think it's going to be a whole new experience for me. Very interesting. However I still don't quite know what to expect yet, Jeremy already has a "wish"list. I haven't quite came up with mine yet. Thank you Jesus when I don't know you know. You're the GOD of my FOREVER.

To Abba (cause you're the only one that knows)......... HAHAHAHAHA YES!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!WOOHOO??!!!?!! HAHAHAHAHAHA....

This is intense mans! I just cannot wait for camp.

Abba thank you for today, the gentle reminders of who I really am. I HEART YOU TONNES(V)

2009-06-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

Hi, greetings to all who know me.

I'm officially a no-lifer! I'm sitting in front of my computer watching The Suite Life On Deck. Damn their cute little beings.

2009-05-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

I know I've had fun when I'm smiling all day long and my cheeks don't hurt.

PLAY! was simply awesome yesterday. The atmosphere was INTENSE! Being with family sure is a great feeling, one which God gave to each and every single one of us. Something I know I won't trade with anything in the world.

So what if we didn't get to play in the competitions? So what if we didn't win a prize! I really like the time we shared yesterday. The shopping, the games, the water, the bubbles, the praise and worship, the love.

Thank you Abba daddy, for never letting me down. Placing friends in my life, everywhere I am. Thank you Abba, for my CG(:

You made me to love me.

2009-05-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

I really want to join the Youth Choir, to sing. Should I? I know I should. Abba, I don't know what I want to do, don't know what I should do. Any signs or signals maybe?:) I'm crazy to think that it'll affect my studies right?

It still remains a mystery why you love me with all my failures.

2009-05-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

I was home at 3 today. This is like 5 hours earlier then average.

WAN TING BOUGHT A NEW TOY, i like(: Life's just going suck w/o her around, so she has got to be around at least until next year! READ THIS WAN TING! Who's going to make me feel absolutely ignored? Who's going to irritate the life out of me? Who am I going to irritate? Who am I going to talk to during lectures? Who am I write to write stupid notes to during lesson! OMGosh. She's my friend... how unbelievable!!!!!!

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............................. I failed my sit and reach AGAIN!!! I got A for my 2.4. An A for my incline. A for my sit-ups. Lovely A for shuttle run. Freaking D for stand broad jump and FAILed my sit and reach. All the hard work... damn. Will try again tmr! I HAVE PASSED IN JESUS NAME.

Saturday's coming really soon(: I like.

2009-05-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

So, hold fast help is on His way. Hold fast He has come to save my day.

2009-05-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

I never thought I feel this way towards you.

It has always been a love-hate relationship between you and me.

Now I know, a little too late though, but I now know for sure, that the love for you never stopped flowing from the bottom of my heart. I merely got distracted by the challenges I was facing. The insecurities I had when I heard what others who you are associated with had to offer.

However, since it was my decision put a halt it all, I'm walking on with a smile in my heart and memories to last a lifetime.

It has been an enjoyable half a year my darling. Thanks for making me a stronger person. Thank you Choir.

Seriously, Thank you FRIENDS. Cas, nice, clar, MJ and Peter Parker aka tauf, izi, arifah, SJ, keane, yiji, ailin, uncle teddy, hexun, cons, cam, Mary ann, Mila and jeremy. Thank you for being on this crazy roller coaster ride with me.

Not forgetting MS ONG and her yellow mini, ms chen, ms loh, ms woo, ms haridus. The ones who bore all our nonsense and never ending complains and grumbling. Thank you all for believing in us when we didnt believe in ourselves.

Silver marked the end of our singing journey together. As average as a silver might sound, we have gotten so much more. To me, (stole this qoute from ash) PJCHOIR, you'll always be a GOLD CHOIR TO ME ((:

2009-04-25T01:36:00.000-07:00

I guess sorry's just wouldn't do anymore. I'm sorry friend that I forgot yet again. I'm so sorry BIMBO. I want so much to make it up, but I dare not. Just afraid that something might happen in school and I'll have to cancel again. I don't think you'll blame me (or maybe you will). I didn't say anything when I remembered cause I'm afraid of what I don't even know.

dearest BIMBO, HAPPY birthday.

HAHA I know you'll murder me when we next meet. Why don't we meet on the 6th of may(:

2009-04-24T08:39:00.001-07:00

I am home (:

It's great to be home.

To fart as and when I like

2009-04-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

I am homesick. It feels as if I got kicked out of the house because of something I never did. Sure tell me that it's all in my head. But it sure feels that way. A home that I'm forbidden to go to just because of a stranger.

I really want to roll and bounce in my bed. Hug my bolster and wrap myself in my blanky. I miss home. Maybe Abba's telling me I won't be able to take not being home if I go overseas to study. Oh what the heck.

Today was an awesome day. I took the wrong bus. Went all the way to CJC. CJC leh!! I was suppose to go bukit panjang interchange. Anyway, the CJC people were giving me weirrrrd looks.

DENISE + LE + NIC +FREE CONE DAY + Zac Effron made all the cursing and swearing worth while LOL.

2009-04-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

It's happening all over again. It works in cycles. Tiresome cycles. I'm just going to hug smile and ignore. And maybe pray that I wouldn't have to go through it myself in future.

Note to self. It's never worth it.

It doesn't help that the weather is crazy. It's hot and extremely humid.

She told some very unfavorable things about me to my teacher. Damn she's evil. Beyond evil. Trying to screw up his impression of me right? Never mind. Today, my ex teacher told me some very encouraging things. (: yeah Teachers WHO ACTUALLY DESERVE RESPECT. I rest my case.

(i'm still hoping you don't like me lah)

HOHO!! SEE JESUS IS MY FAVOR LAH((: YIPPY!!!

2009-04-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

I HAD FUN TODAY!

I sang during performance today -FINALLY!

Went to Minds Cafe and played games with a whole group of them.

Went to chill with D and B at istana park(:

I'm tired and hungry. Didn't eat dinner. PFFFFY. At least we did something more constructive today as compared to the previous time we all met.

2009-04-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

Desert Song.

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

God knows what I'm going through right now, cause I don't even know what's happening. I pray for favor and shalom over my life. That whatever I say are but only words of grace and love. Not things said out of frustration and anger. The out-of-character behavior that's driving me crazy. My vocal chords failing me yet again at crucial time as this. Jesus, what's happening to me?

It's kind of weird to look at me and the mirror and say " Jer you're holy no matter what you've done.". Not because of what I've done, but because of what He did. Jesus I cannot, You can. I don't know, You know. I'm nothing, but You're my everything.

2009-04-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO SING!! I WANT TO SING!!! I WANT TO SING!!!!

I'm going to sleep now.

I realised something today. And I'm extremely glad I did. Yeah me(:

2009-04-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy my every other saturdays, just like I did yesterday. Arrow was awesome-er than usual, and will progressively get even more awesome, for various reasons. Message was really good, what I really needed.

Blessings of deut 28. Never thought of it that way before! How Jesus fulfilled all the blessings. So I'm practicing his presence now(: I add a little drop of anointing oil in my water, and think, because He was whipped 39 times for my sickness. I'm healthy, my self-damaged vocal chords included. AMEN. So many nuggets of truth. Jesus never fails to blow my mind away(: I'm sure Mel Gibson is a blessed man for doing a movie like The Passion of Christ. How I wish I could hear yesterdays message again and again(:

I never felt so at home with my CG before. I mean although we're growing in number, but we're getting closer. So different from when I first joined (maybe cause then, I was new so I felt soooo foreign). Dinner with them is always a time of laughter and joy and great great fellowship.

God knows how much I look forward to every ARROW. His love, the companions He provided me with. He really knows me like no other(: Thank you ABBA(:

2009-04-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

TGIF. Thank you Abba it's friday. I think? No rest, no relax. No sleeping in late, no sleeping till I think it's enough. We're going down to TPJC tomorrow, and I'am not quite looking forward to it . Don't get me wrong, I would really look forward if i could sing, but I can't. I haven't recovered fully yet, I don't want to bring the choir down neither do I not want to recover so it's four hours of good solid studying gone down the drain. I really hope that they come over next week, unlike previously we travelled all the way down there and they didn't quite come down. Wasn't really fair.

Stupid lizard, stupid sounds. Hope it dies really soon.

It's weird, when you don't get to hear two sides of the story, the other party seems to be at the wrong. See this is what lack of communication does to you. Oh wello. It's not for me to comment on, neither is it for anyone but them to comment on.

I really can't wait to go for HMcamp. For everything to be over-SFY. I want to pick up something new and interesting and I think I know just what it is. It's not offered in school though.....Jesus thank you for providing me with a like-minded friend(:

2009-03-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

Life gets weird at times. However, I'll always remind myself that there is now therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ.

When I asked Abba for friends, He gave me friends beyond what I asked for. All I can say is thank you. To you Abba and to them.

Anyway... I haven't studied for my Bio/ Chem quiz. Attempted to, but I really need to go out and study. Too many distractions at home.

2009-03-25T07:10:00.001-07:00

Windows explorer decided to die on me. Welcome to my life Safari.

Anyway, I had quite an awesome day. By that, I mean that today's my parents wedding anniversary and nothing went wrong. So that's awesome, at least for me. Twenty years.

Did you know in England, if you've been married for 60 years (correct me if I'm, wrong) the Queen will give you a present and money personally. If you're 100 years old(well approx) she send you a gift and money too! Like how cool is that? They should put it in place in Singapore too, haha, who am I kidding.

Choir was YZARC today. There just so many things I cannot say. I sure want to ready for 5th May, and I say it shall be good and it is.

Life is becoming increasingly more bearable. Finally control over my emotions. Thank you Abba. I'm glad that I'm out of the whole phase (:

2009-03-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

I HAD AN AWESOME DAY.

I got a tan.
I got to meet up with Nic and gang.
I got to go for ARROW.
I got to experience my saviour afresh.
I got to eat with my CG.
I got my laugh till my tummyached.

I HAD AN AWESOME DAY.

....I still don't know their names.... I'll find out next ARROW.
I REALLY LOVED TODAY, mainly because of Jesus lah.

2009-03-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm all over the place.

I'm the biggest loser of all, cause my life is totally dependent on theirs. It's times like this, all I want is to grow up and walk away. I'll always have this debt that I cannot clear, even if I repaid every cent spent on me. Their time and effort I cannot repay.

It's reasons like this I don't want to have children/family, like what my econs teacher said last year, "Children are the worst investments.". All you do is give and never quite have returns.

Life is a total bore now. I'm either in school singing/ studying or at home studying/ doing nothing. Nothing special happens to me. Blame it on my almost negligable proactiveness. The only highlight of my life now is like ARROW. I know lah. I never read the bible, not spiritual, not close to God lah. Shut up already. Listening to sermons has gotten so boring. I canoot stand my life now Abba. It's a routine of boring-ness. It's a life without you as the main picture. Is there any other way? A moment of spiritual high is not what I'm looking for.

Oh wait, I'm suppose to look at myself. Look at Jesus. yeah. He's awesome and good.

I'm just so bored. BORED. BORED BORED BORED BORED. BORED. BORED. It's a horrible sense of SIAN-sation.

Tomorrow's going to be one heaven of a day. I really can't wait for saturday.
I really don't look forward to sundays anymore. Tuition. nothing against my tuition teacher (since she's well my cousin). I just hate the fact that my life is all about studying now. I know JC... what a bloody reason to study. I thought my life's suppose to be more then this? I know ice-cream and chocolate cakes won't fulfill the emptiness I'm feeling. What the heck, at least it does for as long as the cake lasts.

Jesus, thank you for something extremely interesting that happens to me. Something that might destroy my life, whatever. Just something.

2009-03-18T20:25:00.001-07:00

I really don't feel like doing my work at all. Just too many distractions at home.

2009-03-17T04:24:00.000-07:00

I LOVE CHEMISTRY, but I'm still not done with my homework. Almost complete, there's only one page of questions left to do.
Then there's math, maclaurin's and binomial. Which I have never actually liked, since these are the topics which requires me to be extremely careful...... and that's what I am, a very careful person! I've to confess that I am.
There's GP, a compre paper + something else. What I'm suppose to do, I don't quite know.
Biology.... woooo 1 essay question left. Sian. I dont like to do bio essays.

I guesss that sums up what I have left for the week? Oh yes, not forgetting the ever so important Concert this friday. Gritting my teeth.

I seriously cannot wait for ARROW this saturday(: It's going to be awesome, I'm so sure of it.

Soon, very soon 5th may will be here. After that, I guess I'll have to find something ese to look forward to. A new season? I'll just have to wait and see, I'll do whatever you tell me to.

Off to finish up my chem. Who cares if I sing along to a different tune when organic chem starts. I LOVE CHEM.

2009-03-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

CAMP CAMP is tomorrow. Hope it's going to be awesome? Cause I'm not going to waste my time if it ain't awesome. Intensive vocal training for friday/ SFY. geez

Today marks the end of term one, start of my pretty well deserved holiday. One week, well approximately? Minus Sun and Mon, wed and friday. That's my holiday. It's really better than nothing. One week is good. Always comes at the right time. Thank you Jesus!

2009-03-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

Jesus, I don't know and I don't want to care anymore. Only you can and you know how I feel. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Thank Abba, that even though I might not be happy right now, your joy still flows in me.

Don't look to your circumstances, LOOK UP Jer, look at the cross. That's the only way provision's going to come. All's well, and all things will turn out for your good.

Smile and walk on, knowing that Abba daddy's with you.

2009-03-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

School's like a boring routine, yet kind of interesting at the same time. Basically I do the same thing everyday, but everyday's so different. Like today was crazy cause choir was so demanding today. I felt light-headed and was nodding off to sleep while singing. Whoever sleeps during CCA?

Anyways, I've got so much revision to do before the start of term two. I'm hoping and praying that I wouldn't have to do back for extra lectures.
Choir's burning up my Sunday, monday and friday. Is it all really worth it?
It really sucks to see that everyone is not putting in more effort. Maybe everyone is to their maximum, I wouldn't know. I sure hope we get a Gold. Never felt what it is like to get a Gold. Right now..... we aren't really quite there yet. However, I assure you we're GETTING THERE.

Jesus says I am VICTORIOUS, so I am victorious. Amen

2009-03-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THEM(:
I'm believing we can hang out soon. Denise, Le, Nic, Ali, Beryl and I. To study for our CTs. May we score excellent grades, and have fun after that!!

Arrow was awesome. The only way out is to focus on Him.
Gave sunday service a miss today though, was suppose to study, but........... No condemnation AMEN!

Tomorrow marks the start of the last week of term 1. Pat myself on my shoulders, and says proudly to myself " Good job Jer, you've been doing your homework." However...... I've caught myself slacking off just a little.

Sure the week ahead isn't going to be a breeze, a bed of roses. Yet I know it's going to be great, cause He's been into my future and said it's good.
CCA on monday
CCA on wednesday
CCA on Thursday
CG on Friday( JESUS I REALLY WANT TO GO!)
CAMP on Sunday till Monday.

Shalom to my week ahead. Great favour and His presence abounds. Widsom and righteousness in my words, may whatever I say carry weight. May my righteous memory be blessed. AMEN

2009-02-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

Just cause I messed up your plans a little (but I made suggestions), you being nice to everyone but snap at me. Yet when everyone snaps at you, I'm so nice to you. I really didn't know you had plans. You say you're trying to bring things together. Careful. Cause you raised no fool. I don't bear with anyone's rubbish when I don't get anything out from it.

To think that I felt sad when you were down just makes me cringe. Makes me feel all fake and plastic. This is what family does to you, it bites you from behind when you least expect it.
Family. Ha. It has to be the joke of the century.

Jer it's really time you start being indepedent. The only one you can rely on is Jesus, everyone else will just fail you.
Sorry God, but I've had enough.

2009-02-26T06:39:00.000-08:00

Things haven't changed much, but school's getting a lot better. I'm coping so much so much better, well all except for bio. However that's only for the time being, i mean about not coping well for bio. I tell you I'm so ace-ing my examies. Make Ailin ever so proud of me HAHA(:

09s04's really awesome can. I really thank Jesus for them!

So............................................................. I owe my teacher Bio homework...I just remembered.... shoot.

(:

2009-02-17T05:04:00.000-08:00

COMPETITION IS GOING TO BE STIFF THIS YEAR. Some crazy J1's have already started staying back to study...... AHHH!!! I am becoming super gan jiong spider. Everything also MUST PIA!! (see I'm begining to sound like Ailin HEH!!!) Jesus help me RELAX! Okay for the second time in my JC1 life... I FINISHED MY MATH TUTE WAY WAY WAY before the due date.... usually I don't complete it lah..... Good job Jer(: You deserve a little break. I almost finished chem.. not sure about some.... crap.......

I want to be in the top 30%. Too ambitious? Please. The One who loves me the most, died for me. What else can Jesus not do for me? What is exams to him? Anyway, the memory of the righteous is blessed. Since I'm the righteous, my memory is obviously blessed ((: AMEN!

TEEHEE!!! I am enjoying myself studying whatever I've studied before. Thank you Jesus. All will be well. Amen.

To dampen my mood and spoil my happy thoughts, I've got CCA tomorrow. Hurray, hurrah, whoopie doopie doo. I can't wait to ciao..... 5th may. Will I even stay till then? I don't know. I'll just have to see. Ah frak choir.

Sorry if you're in choir and you read this. I'm really giving my best even though I'm not quite enjoying myself anymore. If I suck. I'm extremely sorry. I hate my voice sometimes.

2009-02-13T23:43:00.000-08:00

Memories of the year gone by.

How can I ever forget them? 08s02!!!!!! I spent my craziest year with them. Mugging like crap. Laughing my ass off. Crying my eyeballs out. Playing DaiTi(((:

08S5, MI. Had great times there. Rose folding sessions. Lessons spent on gossiping, talking about korean dramas. Dissing the chinese teacher(: Not forgetting them laughing at me when I got locked at home and hence couldnt attend school. Yeah I really had fun. Though I don't really contact anyone of them now, they really made me look forward to going to school.

...............................................

A year on, and I have a new class.... yet again. 09s04. Going to be doing what I did last year. I know it'll be good. New class, new teachers, old-new experience. Wonder what it's going to be like at the end of the year. More tears and laughter. But first, I must learn to let go.

Jesus to the year ahead. Amen.

2009-02-11T06:42:00.000-08:00

I'm in 09S04. Yes, 09, yes S04. Mixture so many feelings right now. One thing's for sure I've got great OGLs(:

I made a new friend..... it is so different this time round. Oh well... what the heck. God will make all things RIGHT(:

2009-02-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling a little unsettled. Maybe a little more then a little. Everything's just weird right now. Especially school. The real reason why I don't want to go for orientation is that I feel extremely uncomfortable around the j1's. Extremely uncomfortable. It's seems as if they are judging me. Yeah I know trust God. Right now, I'm running on empty. So pardon me, I wish to be filled up too. Everything feels so elusive.

Meeting Denise tomorrow. Tomorrow so happens to be Mummy's and Wayne's birthday too.

2009-02-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

Shit. I let it get to me.

So I'm not helping out anymore. Yeah I was looking forward to it quite a fair bit. I miss all my closest friends. I miss having to looking forward to. I miss going to church. I don't know lah. My head's really heavy right now.

Today wasn't good at all. I had too many awkward moments. You know feeling sian is just so tiring. I HATE something. I don't know what. Like what I was thinking to myself and God when I was walking home just now. Nobody really gives a damn what kind of a day I've had... excpet for God. Yet you can tell me what kind of a screwed up day you had.

Life is so much like a routine now. Every morning I wake up, hoping it's the weekend. I bathe, brush my teeth, change, eat, go to school, lessons, hang around in the canteen wasting my life away, going for choir, going home, bath, eat and then sleep. Jesus daddy, thank you for something exciting tomorrow and the day after.

My mum voiced her concern that CCA's going to affect my studies. Hell yeah it's going to.. but there's nothing much I can do. I really want to quit so badly. I hate it so much.Without SYF my efforts in choir will be equivalent to nothing. Nothing.

And here's the best part. It's only the beginning.

2009-01-30T06:34:00.000-08:00

Finally, the KAIROS thing is going to finish soon. 2 hours of star popping wasn't quite fun. My thumb still hurts. The whole thing better turn out well.

I miss ARROW. It feels like forever since the last service........

2009-01-27T06:44:00.000-08:00

So chinese new year break is almost over. This means I'm going to be without a phone again, but not for long. Thank you Abba daddy you'll multipy my $$$. I'll most prolly get it like on saturday or something. WEEEPY!!! To tell you the truth, I miss my motorola phone quite a bit. Yeah sure it was old and ugly.... but c: It was black and really really old.

Some amazing race crap tomorrow. Sorry teachers, sun is so not fun. Unless it's PE in the morn/ late late afternoon. Crazy 3 1/2 hours of choir tomorrow.

Oh about my ear piece, I recieved a email from Griffin. WOOOO I LOVE THEM!!!! I shall vent my frustration on my poor pink/red things (((:

Heh. Things are finally working out right. What eles can I say but, THANK YOU JESUS for loving me so.

2009-01-26T07:10:00.001-08:00

I need exercise............. badly!

2009-01-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

What can I say(: Jesus darling, you know me best. Thank you!

2009-01-21T05:32:00.000-08:00

Tug-of-war hurts. The muscles on the right side of my body are aching so badly. Yeah quite loser luh.

Praying tomorrow will be a heck lot more fun then today.

2009-01-20T01:22:00.000-08:00

MY EAR PIECE POPPED ON ME! Yeah.....second time in 2 months already. It went "POP" in my right ear in the morning on the way to school! What the freak! It has a warranty of one year, but from what I gather it must be sent to the US. Yes Jer, you're a genius in the making. What tricked you into paying $45 bucks for it! TSK. But I really like the red/pink luh! It's okay(: Thank you Jesus my ear piece is fine because everything I have is yours and I just know it'll be okay! HEH! Later go put anointing oil.

CCA's a drag. Can't seem to be able to hit the middle range thingy..... yeah I know, it's just the middle. Super sian-sation): Maybe that's why I'm not enjoying myself at all. I really don't know how to support, use the right placement, sing, project and not be airy! I keep cracking too. OH Jesus!! HELP!!!!

Kairos isn't any fun-er either. Workshop, lessons, workshop, lessons, break, break, break, CCA, CCA, CCA. I hope I don't have to do the visualising thing tomorrow, it seriously feels damn weird. I just want the weekends to come.

2009-01-18T05:30:00.000-08:00

Firstly, I BOUGHT THE BAG(:
Secondly, I CUT MY HAIR(:
Thirdly, I'm picking up the guitar(:

The third one I love... I've got to cut my nails though....... and it kinda hurts..... but it'll all be worth it(:

2009-01-16T05:22:00.000-08:00

I went for that hair cut and the bangs(: Yeah.. I have no idea how to face the world tomorrow and on monday! I shall think of a way to cover up soon.....

Happiness comes when things happen the way you want things to happen. Joy is for within out. I'm happy and joyful. What can I say, God answered one of my craziest requests! Thank you Abba!

Mummy is baking pineapple tarts... I'm hungry! I think I put on weight(: I need PE SOON!!!!

2009-01-15T05:51:00.000-08:00

To Jerlynn- WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. Where people have mouths and they speak. You say someone told you, and you can all conviniently say " I forgot.". Thanks a lot. Seriously. Thanks for telling me they know.

It's okay if I tell, not quite that okay if you tell. So please shut up. If you want to laugh at me, go ahead! I have to say this though, I have a God a lot bigger then you, who means a lot more then you. IF you genuinely care thank you, however care for me by shooshing. Thanks.

I have to say though, I know so many people who genuinely cares(: Thanks Subodh for being so nice to me and not suaning me like you always do! See! People who are my friends and I know will be here for me when I need help!

My contacts are still FREAKING NOT READY!!!! ARGH BLOODY CALCUIM JUST GO AWAY!

2009-01-13T06:04:00.000-08:00

bugger. My contacts are not ready yet. My specs are badly scratched because of OBS. I was so looking forward to getting it.... now I'm utterly disappointed. Very very disappointed. So I'll have to make do with it until tomorrow. Another thing that really irritated that irritated the crap out of my was the fact that the salon place closes at 7:30pm. TSK. I hate my hair luh. Bangs? Heh!!

Another day tomorrow. Going off to NTU got to rush back for choir, practice till 6pm. The same thing again on thurs only that CCA is at 6 to 8pm. Will I be able to cope? I hope certainly so.

WOOOO!! I'm praying my bio tutor now will continue being my bio tutor all the way thru.... HEH!!!!

I WANT MY CONTACTS!!!!!!!!

2009-01-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW. My second J1 year starts tomorrow. The sec Fours are getting their O level results tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I'm wondering what I'll be doing tomorrow though.

I SAW A BLACK NIKE BAG THAT I LIKE. It's totally black so it's always CLEAN plus it's not very pricey HEH! I should get it soon. Once I have $$$. I AM CHEAPO. THANK YOU JESUS I HAVE THAT BAG.

FRAK!!!! SCHOOL'S TMR!!! I shouldnt be late, should I? HAHA. CCA till 8, freaking first day of school right! EIGHT PM!!!! TSK.

2009-01-08T05:48:00.000-08:00

LIFE'S NOT QUITE GOOD. I'm confused, again. Sam + PA LEONG + Mrs. Tan + me... sat and talked. What else can a bunch of girls do(: She brought up so many things, although not from a "godly" point of view, but I'm sure that's what Jesus wants me to know. If I don't find out the reason of what has happened, it'll come back and "haunt" me. So 2009 I will do well(: I really want to focus, Jesus you be my strength.

Hmmm........... maybe I should go out and study tomorrow. Yeah like who am I kidding right? Jer, don't be silly!!! PFFFFFT maybe I should ask P.A. Leong..... okay I'll go do that NOW.

I REALLY WANT TO STUDY!!!!!

2009-01-01T06:05:00.000-08:00

Hello 2009, I hate you.

2008-12-29T07:46:00.000-08:00

I'm TURNING 18 in exactly...... 6 MONTHS!!!!

Gee........ life is kind of booooring right now! Maybe I'll go out tmr to buy my purse/wallet- heh. I doubt that'll not happen, but I'm praying I'll go?

Oh poooey!!! I'm I still want my lovely phone... Abba daddy thank you for the finance to get it. I want something I like heh!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-26T07:05:00.000-08:00

Dear all,

I am still looking for a venue big enough for this sunday's practice, but the proposed time will be 2-6pm.
Target - TO MEMORISE SET PIECE "Sounds of Joy"
TWIDLEDITWIDLEDO , please ensure all choir members can attend this practice.
Will announce the venue by tomorrow.

Sincerely,
-------

okay...... if you haven't already realised, 28 is on a sunday..... SUNDAY FOR GOD'S SAKE.
TSK.

2008-12-23T07:03:00.000-08:00

Alone, I was lost today, I walked a lot today.
Together with the rest We played pool today, We watched Yesman today.

Yeah... I had a "tummy-ached". Whatever.....

I guess I really dislike my CCA, which CCA has CCA on Sundays and Christmas eve? I don't feel festive at all, and faking that I feel oh-so-festive is just plain stupid. I can't smile when I see sick people laying on hospital beds, I can't smile when I see old people sick and confined to a wheelchair. Singing happy songs is so fake. Like we go there and sing and the next moment we're gone, heading to the entrance to take photos of the place we just sang at. I find that really disrespectful, esp those taken in the wards. We're not there for us, we're there for them, the patients. Damnit. Who really cares if we sang at NUH? I really don't like being forced to do things like that.... AH FREAK LIKE ANYONE WILL UNDERSTAND..... sucker

2008-12-22T03:15:00.000-08:00

Today had choir blah blah blah blah blah....They a very important brief summary of my precious 22/12/08. Yeah I hate it luh, need I say more?

2008-12-19T06:11:00.000-08:00

THANK YOU JESUS(:

I was so worried that the shop in holland had the black zorro like hats(: However thank you Jesus that there was. I even had options. Like how great can my Abba Daddy get!!

However, because I didnt know whether the price was alright I plonked myself down in the coffeeshop and drank teh. I was aloneeeeeeee...... HEH it was quite fun luh.....

2008-12-18T06:25:00.000-08:00

Women's meeting. It was great, except that I was 5 hours late. Choir (rolls eyes). But the other 5 hours I was there was simply worth all the rushing and skipping of lunch. Coach Jo gave a workshop about communication. Ladies are never short of words, but we have to learn to restrain sometimes. (JER!!!! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!)

So here's the schedule for the days leading up to christmas and beyond:

19th - meet denise at holland, CG christmas party

20th- CCA (rolls eyes), YOUTH MIN CHIRSTMAS BASH

21st- SUNDAY SERV, dinner with my cousins ((:

22nd-CCA...i think.... can't really be bothered.

23rd- Dinner at Denise's (TBC)

24th- Dinner at Aunty Eve's.....

25th- "dinner" at Meiqi's

26th- Daddy's birthday

27th- study/ CCA.. (same as before... I think... can't really be bothered)

28th- CCA (rolls eyes)... Guess what sunday is NOT a school day

Everyday after that till the 12 will be spent studying.

So the party's most prolly cancelled. Sad!! Yeah, I was really really looking forward to it. We're short of a venue and the "umpf" to plan the whole thing (acutally that's quite done too). AH DUMB DUMB PI TI PI TI DUMB DUMB...... Oh well-o. Won't let it affect my mood/ emotions. Not worth it.

2008-12-16T17:49:00.000-08:00

So, I'm back from Hong Kong/ Macau/ Shen Zhen, Desaru. It was really fun luh(:

Okay!!!!!! I can't wait for tomorrow. Women's meeting!! Meeting my besties at 8:30am. HEH! I'm praying I won't be late! HAHA

2008-12-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

The sun at Sentosa is so much brighter(: Yip, I went tanning with Le and Den today. My tan line sucks luh(: I miss them already.

We had picnic mats, sandwiches, green tea and a tube of creamy sun block. I'll get the photos from Den when I'm back. (I'm going to Hong Kong tmr((: )

2008-11-30T06:54:00.001-08:00

Needless to say, service was awesome(: Pastor Charles Nieman. He touched on faith and what it is. Faith is believing and speaking.

Going off to Hong Kong on wednesday, all the way till the following tuesday. As a result I'll be missing Arrow )):

My head's spinning right about now.... POOEY!!!

2008-11-29T07:14:00.000-08:00

Went Bukit Timah Hill climbing with the JC cluster today. I am VERY TIRED! The inital road up is so steep that when you go downhill you can't really stop. We had games(which was really quite fun) and then the limbo thing which was quite funny. Dined with my CG at Al-Ahzar. Not bad! Tom yam soup's too spicy for me. My throat was screaming at me. Heh!

Anyway....... I'm so tired I'm going to sleep now. OH what SWEET SWEET SLEEP I'm going to have(: Thank you Jesus!!

2008-11-27T04:51:00.000-08:00

Hung out with my groupmates today. Watched quarantine..Vinci's idea. Lets just say it's not my type of movie, it was really gruesome. I felt like puking after the movie.

Anyway, I met Meiqi(: Aw I miss her HAHA!!!!! I can go holiday with them already!!!

2008-11-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

I HATE HOUSEWORK. The hatred for it runs deep in my veins. I promise to study hard, make enough money, hire whatever help so that I never need to do all these in future. I really HATE it so so so much. HATE. Not even hanging up the bloody clothes..... ugh!!!!

See paper qualification is so bloody important. All the talk about getting ahead in life without it being possible is deceiving. ARGH!!!!!!

BIG CAR BIG HOUSE BIG POCKET BIG WALLET (speaking of wallet... saw one I really like I think I should get it) BIG WHATEVER............ AHHHHH acutally all these doesn't even make sense.... I just HATE HOUSEWORK...tsk.

DENISE IS COMING BACK TOMORROW(: Maybe I should go pick her up. I'll text her or something. Yes!!!! I miss my girlFRIENDS. Denise Le Nic Ali!!!!!

And Ashley
And Farhanah
And Vera (I owe her insect repellent)
And Eunice
And Nicolette
And Yiwen(whom I haven't seen in like forever...my fault): )

Not forgetting MY COUSINS, but I'm going off to Hong Kong with them.... LOVERS!!!!!

2008-11-25T05:12:00.001-08:00

I BAKED PINEAPPLE TARTS TODAY(: Actually, I ate more then I baked...YUM-O! Eating is funn-er then baking(:

Anyways, CCA got brought forward to tmr 9 to 1...SIAN! I haven't thought of an official reason. Four hours of pure torture. I hate learning new pieces, but I know it'll get lovely once we all know our parts and all. SYF piece is crazy! Don't know if I'll be around even till then. (: Miss ong's coming tmr........ so I guess. I never shld have taken up my position, then things would have been so much easier. Eunice!!!!!!!!! HURRY BACK FROM ENGLAND!!!

Acutally it's kinda great it got brought forward, then I'll be able to meet Lynn and the others on thursday. Should I go? I've been spending excessively on food.

Note to self: Jer, PLEASE START STUDYING!!!!!!!!!!!! Math seems like something cool to start with(:

2008-11-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

There's choir tomorrow and Ms Chen isn't around. I need to talk to her, but she won't be back until the 20th of dec. Abba, help me. I really don't want to go for CCA anymore. I don't want to dislike singing, cause I really love singing. I guess I need to find so teacher to talk too.

HAd a talk with my mum yesterday, she told me if I don't get my grades by mids she's pulling me out of school. It's crazy. Haha? Suddenly, it seems all blurry again. I feel so inadequate. Why does it take me three years and the rest only two? How am I going to feel when people start talking behind my back? Will I really be okay? I guess only God knows, and knows He does. Abba Daddy, I'm scared but you are my Rock.

I really need sleep now. Quite tired. I hope something good happens this week. Let's start with getting rid of this cough I'm having.

2008-11-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

I SURVIVED OUTWARD BOUND SINGAPORE! no... let me correct that statement.
JERLYNN SURVIVIED OUTWARD BOUND SINGAPORE! Like can you believe it? ME?! If you're wondering why. I'm not the clean freak, but insects/mud/grass/being dirty is not quite my thing. However it so happens that OBS is all for the insects/mud/grass/being dirty. So you can imagine what I've been through.

Day 1 was quite boring... met the group, knew no one. There's 16 of us in MARSHALL. How fun right? What I remember most about that night was the sleeping bit, I couldn't sleep. Not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't. We had to hike for about 20 mins to get to the campsite? Siao right.... there were so many disgusting bugs there. I was wondering if all of this was worth it...

Day 2 was a little better? We had a height challenge. It was erm.....quite shiong. I kept stepping on samuel's fingers. I almost gave up cause we were like damn stuck and I had a freaking dizzy spell(cause it was damn hot), iyah but we reached the top anyways. After that we kayaked to some other beach. Some nice guy from munshii gave me a cookie.... he deserves some tuna(: The night there was really bad): Shazwan set up a campfire which was really cool(: I was so annoyed cause I slept for an hour, and woke up...couldn't get back to sleep. I kept telling myself I couldn't make it and I needed to go home the next day.

Day 3 was pure crazyness!!!!!!!! We had our SEA-ex. We are like the freaking pioneer batch to try that route. Marshall and Munshii..... yeah we kayaked through the swamps together. So parts the water was clean and ther others.....er not so....damn oily)))): Thank you Jesus for the tuna, I'm sure you left it there for me. Lunch was awesome shared it with some of the munshii people(we took their oreo)..... flattened bread with tuna spread never tasted this good. We reached campsite real early(: So we had a chance to play around in the water!!!! That night I slept like a baby.

Day 4 was Land-ex. It's an activity that really got the group together. We got lost, biten together. Walked and carried heavy tents and bags. It was really tiring. Although we didnt reach in time, I'm sure it was really memorable for all of us. We kept encouraging ourselves by saying stuff like "YEAH WE'RE GOING TO BATHE SOON! TMR IS BUFFET TIME" Erm that night we got lecture by our instructor........... many many things happened........... hmmmmmm..............

Day 5 was boring didn't do much. But for the first time we managed to complete something.... in time HAHAHAHAHAHA. Took the boat back....... we headed to sakae.... REAL FOOD in days. Laughed till we went red.

Thank you Marshall, for going through all that shit with me...(:

2008-11-16T06:46:00.000-08:00

A TRIP TO BUGIS STREET.

Can you imagine....... HAHA yeah went shopping with Denise and Nic today(: We had tonnes of fun! Silly things were said. I shall not mention any(:

Anyways..... OBS TMR!!!! crappyduppy.................................................................. I can't wait for friday........ for two reasons. One good(:, the other not so good):

2008-11-15T06:53:00.000-08:00

I just got back from Arrow. LOVE IT! what can I say, it was awesome! The message really spoke to me today. Thank you Abba, thank you pastor Lian. I really needed to hear all of it again.

My CG did this blue streaks of hair thing... really cool man!!!!! WEST-B!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, there's never a boring moment when with them(: So it was four girls and a guy(who's laughing at anything and everything). We talked about israel! Jesus thank you for the finances that will pay for my israel trip thats is already on its way to bless me. I really want to go so so much. I'm sure it'll be a life-changing experience. The pastors are there now! It must be really awesome!

AW shucks (: Nothing is better then a smile.

2008-11-12T05:15:00.000-08:00

08S02... A class like no other

To them, with love

Jerlynn, your holiday is so uneventful. Absolutely boring! I can start studying for mids, which is about 8 months away. Or grab a really cool book to read or find a really interesting thing to do online. But studying sounds good, just impossible to do since I'm at home all the time(:

Meeting Eunice tomorrow for breakfast before choir starts. Jer, you will NOT be late. Choir will start at 10 and end at 2 in the afternoon. So.... WOOOHOO? Yeah, I still love singing but I still can't get over the fact that I've got CCA on the 24th and 26th of december. 24th is christmas eve. Not christmas.. but you get my point. 26th is my dad's birthday. It's customary that my parents take that day off and we stone and complain about what a boring day it is (: I'm not going to break the custom for choir. Nowhere in hell am I going to do that. Yeah singing for the sick and feeble people... yeah ANYTIME, but not at the expense of my precious holidays. Childish, immature, uncaring little brat you say? You don't even know me.

"Jer, it's going to affect your chances of etting in to a uni in future!" " Jer, wasted" "Jer, you don't like singing already meh?" Childish, immature? TOTALLY! I think everyone deserves a little of it every now and then. Anyway for the record, no amount of CCA's going to get me anywhere, Jesus will with or without a CCA.

2008-11-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

Ever felt like you are such a let down? Like you've let the person who you love so dearly down? I'm feeling it, and it feels like crap. Jesus, take it away! I'm thinking of so many things now. Thinking of solutions, consequences and the impact of my actions throughout the year. Don't worry I'm not in that sort of trouble. I guess until I tell her what has happened, or going to happen rather, I'll be S-T-U-C-K- stuck. Hitting the wall head-on! Quite smart right?

I feel as though, all of a sudden I'm being flung out about two to three zones away from my comfort zone. Yet there's still a peace, it's illogical, it's crazy! It's like all of a sudden, nothing actually matters. Nothing but Jesus. My mind is in complete chaos, yet I know that all this craziness is actually REDUNDANT! and there's just this shalom peace forcing it's way out.

It seems as if it's getting so tough for us all to meet and chill, but you know what? We will meet because Abba Daddy will cause us all to have time to be there for each other, to enjoy each other. Yeah, they are one of the greatest blessings in my life. Denise, Le, Nic, Ali. Iron sharpen iron, commando friends. People who I know will be there for me anytime anywhere. Girls that I know will support me when I fall because they have Jesus supporting them. Like what I heard from somewhere, it is vital to be thankful. Always thank the people around you, the people who mean so much to you, people who has done so much for you. Say it, even when they don't need to hear it. Say it, because you need to hear it. So to them THANK YOU and THANK YOU.

When God meant for us to have friends. When he gives them to you, love them and enjoy them, however never ever try to make things work cause it will amount to nothing. We enjoy, leave the working to God(:

If an earthly father knows so much as to give the very best to his child, what more my heavenly Father who freely gives me ALL things at the expense of His only son. God so loved me, He gave his only son to die for me. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. If He says Jerlynn is a success, who's to say I am not? Who's to say that I failed just because of this? HAHA Thank you Jesus(: Thank you Abba(:

Mugging tomorrow. Pointless, I know. But what the heck. I'm so bored at home anyways. But I rather go out and study though...... home's like..... to distracting(:

There's Arrow this saturday and I'm not missing it for the world.

2008-11-05T07:16:00.000-08:00

I guess I love today a lot.

Today, in a long time everyone was together having fun. Laughing and smiling. It could be a surface thing, these smiles could be built on things that aren't that great, but still...it's a start(:

Was suppose to meet subodh and the rest, due to some complications I had a change of plan. I went to meet Leying at Vivocity(: To watch Quantum of Solace.... didn't really understand it.. but hehheh it was really really LOUD.

Guess what(: Yeah only Leying knows HAHA.

2008-11-02T06:01:00.000-08:00

Ever felt overwhelmed? I'm feeling overwhelmed):

I had to submit the form but didn't. Yet I really want to go Jesus, HOW?
Come up with excuses to skip CCA during the dec period. like that how to study?!!!!
GPP
I and R

Okay I shall rant and complain. I really hate the fact that I've got CCA on saturday and sunday and eve of christmas. I don't want to miss Arrow for the world. Choir is not going to get me a place in the university, Jesus will. Yes, I know VP. You know what? Okay so I admit, I can't deliever, SO?! It just so happens school is a five-day thing. My personal life leh. Teachers if you ever read this, I'm sorry. WTH

2008-10-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

(:
So I heard some things.... about promotional status and it sure makes me happy.
I think. I'm am not saying that I know my promotional stat okay. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I'm sorry mum, for being rude this morning. It was 7 in the morning, I was tired.

Anyways, I had the most boooooooooooooooooooooooring morning and afternoon. Went back for the obs thingy..... Jerlynn will/ shall adapt to the heat in Singapore. I hope I'll have fun. Hmmm and I will dare to jump/play/climb/pee. *note to my Abba, please let there be no bugs. Thank you Abba. Crap! I'm not in the same OBS group as mudpie and Ms Eunice. Us is going to gt separated):
It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR! It's TMR!
So............................................ I should go study for chinese As. *note keyword SHOULD.
And start practicing for OP(: heh... it coming to an end soon. All I can say is PRAISE JESUS!

My life in J1 is coming to an end soon. heh....... I wonder how that feels.

2008-10-27T03:40:00.000-07:00

Jesus daddy, I hate the way things are going now. I hate it that everytime I study hard, it is not hard enough. I hate that I don't look forward to getting my results back. I hate that I don't perform. "Some people are not made to study" am I the some? I sure hope not. It really hurts that people are improving my leaps and bounds, but I, (beloved of Jesus Christ, daughter of the One who died to give her everything) I... I don't know what on Earth.

Yeah, I know leave everything to you...everything will work out in due time, that you have everything planned for me... everything will be fine... that you love me to give me everything... I don't know what else peole will say to comfort me once they know how badly I messed up my promos. I dont want comfort, I just want everything to turn out right.

JESUS BUT THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT. NOT RIGHT.. NOT ONE BLOOD BIT RIGHT.

2008-10-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

Everything happens for a reason. What reason, I can't quite figure out yet.

Anyways, I had one of the most "exciting" day yesterday. I sprained my ankle. It looks like pigs trotters now all swollen and odd-looking. Anyways, the reason why I fell was because we (08s02) wanted to take a jumping photo at the grandstand and I jumped and feel on the ball of my left ankle. Freaking smart right? So I had to walk around school with the coolest limp ever!

Okay so Cass was right, I shld have used cold compress... but i didn't. Waited till my mum got back, it hurt so so much that i almost vomitted eating. So we went to the doctors and her referred me to the hospital. We went to NUH(smart choice, I know). I was there from 8 to 11pm. I got an mc at 11pm for the 21st and 22nd of the month. So, what the loveable creature right? I was on mc for like half and hour of ytd? so EXCITING.

I ponned school today, but went back to get my results. crap. I'm feeling so numb already. I don't want to care, Jesus please. It seems as if my hard(studying) doesn't seem to be "hard" enough for exams. Hmmm, maybe I shld study soft?

I am feeling a lot better now, a little disappointed but it's okay. Jesus you love me, nothing bad can come my way. So if everything is in your hands, why worry? Just smile and bounce back.

2008-10-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Arrow was brill(: Pastor Gab preached today. Going to do so of my own bible study later before I sleep. This is like sooooooooooooo exciting(:

Had dinner with my CG+another CG today(((((: It was super fun. HAHAHAHA

I shall play a little game then go read the bible already hehheh!!! Jer, be ready to be blessed((:

2008-10-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

I sincerely have nothing to say.

Life's great, when there's Jesus.

Chinese A's are approaching soon, I don't ask for much.

An E will be enough, really!

Yeah, I know don't limit God and all, but....

I'll study? Study as 'much' as I can?

I really dislike compo/ compre, both english and chinese alike.

Chinese=> I've got tonnes to write on the topic, but because of my inability to express myself and the limited vocabulary I have, I always end up missing the point by a whole mile. This irks me like crazy.

English=> basically, I'm not the writing kind. So, just don't like lah!

For the past week/s(actually only two lah) the first thought of the day has been the same: "Jer, I can't wait to sleep tonight!" How pathetic right? WRONG!!!! He gives His beloved sleep/rest( i cant remember). HAHAHA okay..that's not really in the correct context lah.

Arrow tomorrow. Seriously, my life is all about school home church. HAHA none of which I really dislike or anything...

hmmm....school.....................

that's in the grey area...

2008-10-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

It's back to the mad rush of finishing up our WR. Today isn't as bad at the other times I was dong it, today it feels like group work. Everyone's chipping in to do their bit and everyone elses bit, which is great(:

Abba Daddy,
I'm not going to stay up any later then 11:30 pm, I will be done by then. This can only be done because of who you are, what you've done 2000 years ago. You went outside time, Abba thank you for stretching time for me. Thank you for being the one who spots all the mistakes. Thank you for being the one who types everything(: LOVE YOU ABBA(:

2008-10-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

I HAD FUN TODAY! Shopping with Le was a blast! Although we shopped around the most boring places in town... still I had fun. The cheese hotdog was yummy...cheesy cheesy cheesy! As usual ARROW was brilliant (duh!). Guess what I didn't bring cash, so I could not makan makan with my CG. Le was whining asking me to stay HAHAHAHA oh mans she's crazy!!!

Saw all my besties except Denise.... FINALLY!!! I MISS NICOLA KOH& ALIBABABE((: We should all hang out soon. Sit somewhere and talk talk talk talk talk.............

HCI's open house is on friday(: HAHAHAHAHA random I know!

Dear Abba,

OH MY TIAN!!!!! yeah, only yooooou know why. This so cannot be happening... TSK.

LOVE ME((:

2008-10-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

HELLO. I'VE GOT SCHOOL TOMORROW. SHIT. SOME LAME GAMES DAY THING. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN GAMES, CAUSE I SUCK AT IT. I HATE DOING THINGS I SUCK AT. HURRAY!

JERLYNN JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. Just like what I'm taught in school. Happiness is elusive, hard to get. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

The Dead Sea, where water enters and never leaves. That pretty much sums up how I feel today.

2008-09-29T09:20:00.001-07:00

Today feels like four years ago, but unlike then, today I'm not the cause of it all. Unlike then, today I'm helpless, because I'm not the cause of it all. How long is this going to last Abba? I can't take it anymore.

No one cares, no one listens, no one speaks, no one laughs, no one smiles.
Everyone cares, only for themselves.
Everyone listens, only to themselves.
Everyone laughs, only when the are not together.
Everyone smiles, at everyone except at each other.

She's stressed. She's alone. She's tired. She's cranky. She's pissed.
He's stressed. He's doing. He's not who he used to be.
she's guilt-ridden. she's sad. she can't solve the problem. she has changed. she's rude. she's disrespectful. she's doubtful. she's going crazy.
he's king. he's prince. he's queen. he's princess. he's a couch potato. he's lazy. he doesn't know anything.
It's gone. she wants It so badly. Maybe a shoulder to cry on.

2008-09-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

What has changed? My circumstances? Or have I changed so much? Sometimes I don't even recognise myself. Maybe both has changed, so much that everything seems so foreign now.

2008-09-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

Exams are almost over. One paper left, and it's on monday. All I can say is... Jesus Abba.
I FREAKING WON'T RETAIN.

I would like a good book, which I don't have. A big comfy chair, which I don't have. Air-conditioned room, which I don't have. My ipod, which I have. Read for the entire day, take my mind off things for a bit, which I don't have the luxury of.

Speaking of luxury, it still irks me that they are selling it away. Saving up the cash? Right...... I am so tired, both mentally and emotionally. All part of His plans, but why is it so painful? Blessing of deu 28 over my life amen(:

Sometimes little things makes me feel insecure, but my Abba is always here for me.

I'm bored. I want to do something fun, try something new. Do anything but be alone, cause that when I know my thoughts and fears will surface. Abba, find me something to do please.

I can't cry, I can't complain, I can't say how I really feel. That's so not who I am, but just because you're telling me not to, I'm shutting up.

2008-09-21T04:03:00.000-07:00

JESUS over my papers(: HAHA. (this is like an unofficial break I'm having)

Econs and Bio tmr(: JESUS AH JESUS!!!!

There are so many things we( Denise, Leying and I) plan to do once we finish promos. Nothing's confirmed yet(: We're all conc-ing on promos(((((:

I'm telling you the BK at Wheelock is so blessed to have us there almost everyday.

I can't wait for this all to end.

Then it's chinese.......... right.

2008-09-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

Ought not Jerlynn being the daughter of Abraham get her A's

2008-09-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

ASHLEY TAY SHU REN did NOT go to school today. Let's see, today.... I hardly got a break. I'm glad the day's going to over soon.

DO YOU KNOW THAT STUDYING IS FUN?

exams are not.

Went studying at BK with Leying. She was sighing like crazy. "Jer, how to do this?" mind you she was asking me math. Yeah, math. Woah. My darling ah, if you don't know, I most prolly won't either.

STUDYing again tomorrow. WOOHOO(: Same place, same time, same darlings. Buger King again......... FAN WEI, but studying there is fine luh(:

No Arrow tmr.

I MISS ARROW!! It's not Arrow I miss, sure Jesus's EVERYWHERE, but there's something special about Arrow. (DUH! Why else would there be a need for it right?!)

Jesus Daddy, I miss you. And thanks(:

2008-09-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I felt like shooting myself in the head.
Today, I feeling like digging my nails into my head, peel my head apart, crack open my skull and dig whatever shit that's inside.
Don't the teachers already know we've got so much to do? Yet they continue adding on to the to-do list ruthlessly. FRAG PROJECT WORK FRAG FRAG FRAG!
The feeling of never ending-ness. Jesus, this is so painful. I really don't know what to do. Faith, sure I believe I'll be there next year, but the process is to painful. It's like forcing needles between my nails. So painful, yet I'll never die.

2008-09-09T05:23:00.000-07:00

I REALLY DON'T LIKE PROJECT WORK.
I REALLY DON'T LIKE PROJECT WORK.
I REALLY DON'T LIKE PROJECT WORK.
I REALLY DON'T LIKE PROJECT WORK.
I REALLY DON'T LIKE PROJECT WORK.

Just want to get it over and done with.

I really want that song.

Dingodongmerrilyhohobo.

2008-09-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's Term four of my Jone year(:

Good news:

I survived roughly eight to nine months of the toughest phase of my studying life.

Bad news:

The toughest has yet to come.

So they say "Good things come to those who wait." sureeeeeeee. I merely waited a year for chineseAs, Promos, PW-OP. Nothing much lah. Trust me. JC is like a good steak left on the grill for the longest time possible. Tough like anything.

I'm kidding (hell yeah). Other the mugging like i don't know....MUG thing, it's FUN(: make brill friends, khakis for all breaks and we are super protected by the school. Hey, what more can I ask for.

On top of all this, my Jesus is always here for me. So i'm counting on him to get my really really super undeserved A's for chem, bio, math, econs, gp, CHINESE(: Jesus, THIS IS MINE, the stupid idiot stole it from me. It shall return EVERYTHING TO ME 1.2 times(:

Geez, should I approach thumby for help? Hmmmmmm. gosh.

2008-09-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

I MADE JELLY TODAY(: I wish I had taken some photos of it though!

I've got soup to drink. I've been drinking so much water, that I can safely say the amount of water I drank today is like double the amount I've drank in the past week (thus explaining my ugly pimples TSK)

Today, like every other day I dream like a DO-DO bird. It's fun.

2008-08-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

I RECIEVED THE BEST NEWS TODAY(: Truely, Abba Daddy never forgets. It's not exactly confirmed yet (in reality) but it is CONFIRMED AMEN!! How much better can life get?

People! Don't Mess Around when His beloveds.

Anyways, yesterday was brill(: Met up with the people who knows and loves me the most. Especially and AHYIs, they are like my mummy2,3,4 and 5 (my mum is one of 5 sisters). They freaking know what I love to eat and what I do not. Like my san yi gave me duck skin (which obviously IHEART-can afford it what). Almond jelly, beef stew, char siew.......all my comfort food. Grew up eating all of it.

My cousins are LOVE(: meeting them on tuesday again!!!!!!! can't wait(:

Fall, falling, fell. I thank Jesus there's school for all the wrong reasons(:

2008-08-29T06:30:00.000-07:00

I LOVE TODAY for many reasons.

Most importantly, I spent my whole afternoon with 4e6( not all but the few of us). We were suppose to "whack some balls"-dannie, but didn't in the end. We just hung around, and roamed. Car, PA, Bim and Bo were all there. OW WHERE WERE YOU??!?!?!?

Ms LIANG IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's so skinny:(((( baby, don't torture her, she's skinny enough already((((:

They (PA PANG SEHXXXXX-native language, I'm a fast learner) left. So I went lunching w/ the guys. I must say they are really fun to be with. I learnt that there are indigenous people in aeronautical something (sorry ben I'm bad w/ courses) HAHAHAHAHAH. We sat at Macs and crapped the afternoon away. (Ben's iphone was fun to play with- Kenny kept taking it away much to the despair of Ben). How can we spend time tog and not mug right? How can we let Ngai off the hook right? HAHA we got him to do some math. Damn he's good. All the silly things we did HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyways just a random thought, ACJC gardening clubs flowers smell really good!!!

Gee, I hope to see them all again soon. ESP GERRI please make sure your day (entire) is FREE.

LOVES

You'll never know, but you make school that much better to be in. erm Thanks? HAHAHA

2008-08-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

HELLO(: Today is a great day. Chem SPA went oh-so-well(:

Some really absurd things were said today. Something about tables for certain brawn-ish CCAs. Hmm.... WHATEVER.

The Teachers day vid was FUNNY(((((:

Anyways, I'm going a little bonkus. Why? HAHAHAHAHA

I'm looking forward to tmr(: HEARTS

2008-08-24T06:49:00.000-07:00

It's the closing ceremony for the Beijing Olympics. It started with a bang and definitely ended with a bang.

Nothing much happened today.

2008-08-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

FRAG.

FRAG FAMILY OUTINGS.

FRAG FRAG FRAG.

So it was bloody my fault, never yours. What the hell.

Fancy being 13 and still be so dependent on everyone else. Dude, GROW UP. I'm not always going to be here helping you cleaning up your shit. Neither is Daddy nor Mummy. Learn from your mistakes and apologise. Saying you don't know how to check is just a lame excuse. Do you think that I knew how to get things done back then? I found out, I figured it out. Me not teaching you? Please. Don't give me rubbish.

I'm so tired of all this shit. You'll think I'm happy just cause I have The Smile on everyday. You have no idea how I'm feeling.

At times like this, I wish I've someone to talk to. "

"We're all outsiders in a way. We're all alone and can become very lonely." Hugo Weaving

2008-08-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

Today's is just like everyday. Tutorials, lectures, lectures and more tutorials. It's the same every week. By the time Friday comes around it feels as if every ounce, every drop of energy left is being drained till there's nothing left. Lectures are never ending. Just when you think you've gotten through econs, thinking that the worst is over, THINK AGAIN. There's CHINESE. So my life has been pretty much a routine which, surprisingly I don't really hate.

But what made today so special was this little princess on the train. She is about three. Clothed in a lovely pale yellow, floral jumper, over a mickey mouse tee shirt. She has a beautiful smile. Abba Daddy used her to make my day.

Just so you know, I love kids.

I'll never get to see her again, but thank you little princess you made my day.

Jer, it's high time you get over it and move on. It's no fun anymore.

2008-08-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

I was late for school today.

It seems that every time I commit my day to Him, my day will turn out to be one of the worst days in my life. Why?

2008-08-20T06:13:00.000-07:00

Hello, today is low self-esteem day.
So here goes nothing.

I think I have the lousiest personality and character in my world.
I'm not hardworking.
I'm not neat.
I'm not nice.
I talk too much.
I can remember stuff like the rest.
I'm freaking in the banded class.
I don't give constructive ideas.
I suck.
I suck.
I suck.
I'm not what everyone else is. I'm just not.

I wonder why I have friends in the first place. Why would they even want to be near me. Like hello!!!!

I suck in math
I suck in bio
I suck in chem
I suck in econs
I suck in chinese
I suck at project work

SEE I SUCK.
THIS FUCKING SHIT.

Good-for-Nothing? Hell Yeah! World just SHUT UP and bloody leave me alone.

2008-08-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

ARROW's REALLY FUN(:

Studied with Denise and Leying today.

Nothing much. Just GET OUT OF MY HEAD.